Chicken
by prissygirl
Summary: One-shot. The great Severus Snape, feared potions master, ex-deatheater, spy extraordinaire is scared. What is he so set against? HGSS


**Disclaimer: Do I look like J.K. Rowling? Ok, then obviously I do not own any of these characters.**

**Chicken**

Severus Snape rolled his eyes and drowned down another whisky. There was no way that he was going to agree to this. There was also little chance that he would be successful in his argument. He might be able to escape if he avada kedavra'd them all. Even Azkaban was preferable to this.

"Come on Rus. Don't be a spoilsport," Hermione Granger pleaded.

"Rus?" Snape growled.

Hermione hiccupped. "Would you prefer Sevie?"

Snape ignored her and eyed the exit. If he was quick, maybe he just might make…

"And don't even think about escaping," Hermione said, bringing his attention back to his inebriated co-worker. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

Snape gave her his most fearsome glare and raised to his full height. In a voice that would have made most students begin to hyperventilate, he gave her his answer.

"No."

Albus Dumbledore, who had been busy trying to maneuver Minerva McGonagall under some mistletoe, (which was curiously out of season in April) finally made a comment so he could be mentioned in the story.

"Severus, my boy, if you do this you can be the new DADA professor."

Snape had to catch himself before he agreed. The DADA position was the one thing he wanted most in the world. Well, maybe second. The first thing would be to get the heck out of there.

"I believe I'll have to pass Headmaster," Snape replied as he sat back down and wished that everyone would go away.

Hermione obviously didn't get the memo because she plopped down in the seat next to him.

"Chicken."

"Excuse me?" Snape asked, wondering exactly how drunk she was.

"It's a muggle term. It means you're scared," Hermione stated.

Snape shifted uncomfortably in his seat and muttered something inaudible.

"You are, aren't you? The great Severus Snape, feared potions master, ex-death eater, spy extraordinaire is scared!" Hermione began to laugh.

"And I suppose you are without fears?" Snape sneered.

Hermione stopped mid-chortle. She then murmured something under her breath.

"I didn't quite get that Miss Granger."

When Hermione didn't reply, Snape rose out of his seat and said, " For someone who never had trouble voicing her opinion in my potions class, you seem awfully quiet."

Then all of the sudden, he saw Hermione jump up. It was all over in a few seconds. He still wasn't sure if it had really happened. But the warmth and tingle in his lips confirmed his suspicions. Granger had kissed him and she was definitely over the legal limit.

"Miss Granger, step away from the margarita and no one will be hurt," Snape warned as Hermione reached for another drink.

Hermione snorted, very un-lady like.

"I'm quite able to hold my liquor Professor."

"And that's why you called me Rus?" Snape asked, raising a massive eyebrow.

"No, I just did that to piss you off," Hermione answered with a smirk.

"Well, your attempt worked Miss Granger. However, assaulting my face did not have to same effect," Snape replied dryly.

Hermione shook her head. "How dense is he?" she thought.

Dumbledore, who had gotten tired of singing "99 bottle of butterbeer on the wall" decided he needed to say something to make him sound all knowing and important.

"Severus, Hermione kissed you because it was her greatest fear that she would be rejected by you," and with a bow he walked off to listen to the rest of the story from the other side of the room.

"So, I guess that means you have…uh, feelings for me?" Snape asked nervously.

"Attacking someone with your tongue usually relays that meaning," Hermione said boldly.

Snape nodded until a thought came to him. "Wait, you didn't use tongue," Snape said confused.

"Not yet."

Snape gulped. Women were scary and fascinating at the same time. Darn them.

"But you have to do one thing for me first," Hermione said while stroking his hair and then pulling back her hand suddenly.

"I'll take a shower tomorrow," Snape said, leaning in.

Hermione shook her head. "Guess again."

The meaning of her words finally sunk in. The effects of the alcohol must have finally been doing their job because Snape begrudgingly got up and walked to his doom.

"She better be really French," he thought as he prepared himself for the most embarrassing moment in his life.

As Hermione fell out of her chair from laughing so hard, only one other thing could be heard in the bar.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt. So sexy."


End file.
